Hоw tо fіnd joy іn уоur lіfе

It surprises me how often people feel they have no or little cause for happiness and joy – both now and from their past.  Perhaps it is just nose to the grindstone, and it feels like life has become one long to-do list – and it may have been like this for a long, long time.  Somehow the joyful and happy things just fell off the end of the list.

 

I often work with people as a coach helping them get reconnected with themselves and part of this is to know how to be happy again! Often people tell me that they don’t even know what makes them happy anymore. For others, work has taken over and they find it hard to even be present in other areas of their life, let alone find happiness and joy in those areas. Sometimes we just lose touch with the things that used to make us happy because we’ve become so caught up in the pace of life that we simply forget the things we used to do that brought joy into our lives.

 

Sometimes, I speak to people who feel like they’ve achieved what they wanted in life, only to discover they are not happy at the end of that. Maybe they have a partner, a family, a good job, are financially secure… but they feel empty inside. The expected feelings of satisfaction and joy just didn’t turn up.

 

If you can identify with this… you’re clearly not alone.

 

So, how do you find joy in your life when it seems to have left the building?

 

Let’s consider the situation first from the perspective of what might be going on in your body and your brain.

 

You may have heard of ‘happy hormones’ – and by this I am talking about your neurotransmitters which play a big role in mood regulation. Did you know that your brain chemistry can go awry for a multitude of reasons? It may be due to life events, illness, poor diet, or lack of exercise. The good news is that you can enhance your body and brain chemistry to increase your happy hormones!

 

So what are these happy hormones?

 

Serotonin is probably the best known of the ‘happy hormones’. This chemical is responsible for many functions within the body, but for our purposes, it regulates happiness, mood and anxiety.

 

Dopamine is the happy hormone related to motivation, and it also provides pleasurable feelings when we achieve the goals we set ourselves.

 

Oxytocin is our relationship builder. It creates feelings of trust and intimacy. And endorphins help us to alleviate pain, anxiety and depression.

 

The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.

– William James

 

What’s the connection between happy hormones and finding joy in our lives?

 

Underlying your feelings are chemical reactions involving these neurotransmitters. If you feel like you no longer have joy in your life, taking action to activate your neurotransmitters can help you to rediscover joy.

 

Exercise stimulates most of the happy hormones. Choose something you enjoy doing… even if it is just walking. Or, choose something more unique like rollerblading or skateboarding! If you enjoy the exercise, you’ll be more likely to continue with it and feel better doing it. You don’t need another chore to do.

 

While exercise is a great way to stimulate endorphin release in your body (along with the other neurotransmitters), there is an even simpler way… laugh. Yes, simply laughing will release a flood of feel good endorphins! Lavender and vanilla scents as well as dark chocolate are also ways to increase your endorphins.

 

What if you don’t feel like laughing? And, let’s be real here… if you can’t find any joy in life, you are unlikely to find anything to laugh at. Make a choice to consciously seek out situations that could be funny or amusing. Watch some old comedy re-runs on TV. Forward a funny email to your friends. There are Facebook pages purely dedicated to funny videos with children or small animals doing silly things. Something will tickle your fancy and start that little giggle from within… and voila, your happy hormones wake up!

 

Write a list of what you loved doing as a child. We need to tap into our inner child far more often. Children are naturally good at feeling happiness and joy, and just playing. See if you can find something that you enjoyed as a child that you could take up again now, even if it is in a different form, and re-experience that joy you felt as a child.

 

People or solitude: We all have our preferences. Some of us are naturally social and love being around people, others prefer solitude and silence. Regardless of which way inclined you are, if your life is all the other way, you will not feel joy. Oxytocin levels can be raised by a simple hug, or giving a gift, so when you’re involved with people you love, you’re raising your oxytocin levels.

 

Go somewhere! Is there a place you used to love but have just forgotten about it due to life’s distractions? Is there a place that you have fond memories of from your past? Take a trip and enjoy! You’ll be surprised how much joy you’ll feel from simply getting out and about, along with being reminded of a place you loved.

 

Celebrate! Since dopamine is related to rewards, you can increase levels of dopamine by breaking down your big goals into smaller goals, so that you experience a series of achievements rather than having to wait a long time for the one big achievement. So you’ll get the double whammy here… the joy that comes from the celebration as well as the increased pleasurable feelings from the dopamine rise.

 

Even though the specifics to personal happiness are different for each of us, there are some common themes that we can all make the most of to enhance our wellbeing. Make use of the tips to enhancing your happy hormones and try some of my suggestions for ways to rediscover your joy. Who knows, you might find something new that you love!