When the Best 'Yes' You Can Say is 'No'

A few months ago, I had a client - let's call her Sarah, who came to me feeling completely drained. She was a successful professional, a mum, a wife, and an active volunteer. On the surface, everything looked fine but when we started to dig deeper Sarah shared something that many of my clients confess: she didn’t know what her boundaries were anymore. She was constantly saying ‘yes’ to requests from others - whether it was picking up extra shifts at work, helping a friend with a last-minute favour, or taking on another commitment at home. She didn’t realize how much she was giving until it felt like there was nothing left for her. Worse, she often didn’t realize when others were imposing their own boundaries on her.

The stress and fatigue Sarah felt weren’t just from work or family obligations, but from losing touch with her own needs and limits. She was running on empty, feeling overwhelmed, and struggling with burnout, all because she hadn’t been honouring her own boundaries.

Why Boundaries Matter

Boundaries are essential for protecting your time, energy, and mental well-being. They allow you to show up as your best self - both for others and for yourself. Without boundaries, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, burned out, and disconnected from your own needs.

Healthy boundaries give you the space to take care of yourself. They help you manage stress, protect your physical health, and preserve your peace of mind.

The Importance of Boundaries for Your Well-Being

Many people don’t even realize they’ve crossed their own boundaries until they’re feeling completely drained. This can happen when we’ve spent too much time saying “yes” to others without checking in with ourselves about what we truly need.

Understanding your boundaries is a process that takes time and self-reflection. What’s draining you? What do you need to let go of to preserve your well-being?

The Power of Scheduling Yourself In

One of the most effective ways to set boundaries is by scheduling time for yourself.

It’s easy to fill your calendar with work meetings, family obligations, and social events, but often we forget to schedule in our own needs. To protect your time and energy, make it a priority to schedule ‘me time’ just like you would an important meeting.

This doesn’t have to be complex. Even something as simple as a 30-minute walk, a quiet moment to read, or a brief meditation can make a world of difference. The key is to treat this time as non-negotiable. You wouldn’t cancel a meeting with someone else, so don’t cancel your appointment with yourself.

Respecting Others’ Boundaries (and Yours)

Boundary-setting is a two-way street. It’s not just about protecting your own time; it’s also about respecting the limits of those around you.

Learning to say “no” is essential, and it’s one of the most powerful tools you have. Saying “no” isn’t selfish - it’s necessary for your mental and physical health. You don’t have to provide a long explanation when you say no. A simple, “I’m unable to take that on right now” or “I need to prioritize something else today” can be enough. It’s not about being harsh, it’s about being clear and compassionate with yourself.

It’s also important to recognize and respect others’ boundaries. If someone communicates their limits, honour them. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, and that includes respecting each other’s time and energy.

Simple Steps to Start Setting Boundaries Today

1. Check in with yourself regularly - Reflect on your week and ask yourself: What drained me? What energized me?

2. Schedule time for yourself - Block out time in your calendar for self-care and treat it as a non-negotiable appointment.

3. Say “no” without guilt - It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your needs or goals.

4. Respect others’ boundaries - When someone tells you they need space, respect it. Healthy boundaries are essential for healthy relationships.

By setting clear boundaries, you’re protecting your well-being, your energy and your peace of mind.

After working with Sarah on recognizing her limits and scheduling time for herself, she began to feel a shift. She was saying “no” without guilt, and for the first time in a long time, she was saying “yes” to what really mattered - her health, her joy, and her personal time.

Ready to Set Your Boundaries?

So, what about you? Where can you start setting better boundaries today? Take a moment to think about where you can carve out time for yourself and start treating your own needs with the same importance as everyone else’s.

If you’re feeling uncertain about how to start or need guidance on creating sustainable boundaries in your life, reach out. Sometimes, a little coaching support can make all the difference in helping you build a life that feels more balanced, fulfilled, and in alignment with your true needs.

You can book a free strategy call with me today to explore how I can help you build lasting, healthy boundaries and start feeling more at peace with your time and energy.