How To Get The Body You Want… (it’s not what you think)
My Story
I was a bit of a gym junkie in my late teens and 20’s. I loved everything about it, the adrenaline rush, how great it made me feel and also that I was trim and toned. What I noticed though, was the more trim and toned I got, there was always something else to ‘improve’.
I think a lot of young women think like this. I wish I had just appreciated myself more back then instead of fussing over a small weight gain or something about my body that I perceived to be less than ideal.
Now I look at my body differently – the stomach that held my lovely child, my face that shows my smile lines, the imperfections that are just part of me. Sure, I have goals with my health and reembraced my love for weight training a few years ago, but now I focus on the amazing benefits strength training brings me now and as I get older, the benefits of muscle for overall health and I really love the feeling of being strong! Along the way, I too appreciate myself just as I am, knowing it may change and that is ok too.
Loving yourself whatever your weight
We all get drawn in by the media’s portrayal of the perfect body to some degree. Or, we remember what our bodies looked like in the past and want to regain that youthful appearance. Over time this can develop into a form of “self body shaming”, where we start to see our own bodies as less than perfect and start to almost beat ourselves up about it.
Or we can develop a real dislike for our body, and emotionally we start to detach from our bodies.
Surprisingly for many people, the key to either losing weight or becoming happy with your weight, is to learn to love yourself, whatever your weight.
What’s Your Why?
If you do want to lose weight let’s explore what your reasons are. Are you not looking after yourself, eating poorly and being sedentary and suddenly you’ve had a health scare? Or are you like I was, in pretty good shape and taking care of yourself but always finding something else that you could improve?
Or is the driving force something outside of yourself? This could be a partner, a family member, someone at work whose comments might hit home with you, or those pervasive media messages that get right in under your skin?
Accepting and being mindful in the present moment
I’m going to say something that will seem counter-intuitive and possibly even controversial…. It’s important to accept your body as it is now, as the first step to achieving your goals. Acceptance of the now is part of being more mindful and in the moment. If you are always wishing about the future, dreaming about how you may look and what you may do, you are missing what is going on here and now. Because now is the only moment we actually have.
If you can’t love your body now, why do you think you will love it when it is a few kilos lighter? The underlying belief system that you have about your body will bring up something else to focus on, something else to “fix” about your body, even after losing weight. You’ll soon find yourself in that cycle that I did… achieving your goal but being acutely aware of something else you don’t like that needs fixing.
Transforming Your Body Through Gratitude
So if you wish to lose weight, set yourself some goals, but also include daily reflections in which you appreciate your body just as it is. Gratitude is a strong force of nature… being able to find something to appreciate about your body – as it is right now – starts a powerful shift in energy both within and around you that will begin to attract your goals towards you.
What can you appreciate about your body? You could come up with a different gratitude about your body every day – say it aloud to yourself multiple times and remind yourself of all your body does that is not focussed on just how it looks or what it weighs.
Here are a few examples to get you started:
My digestive system is amazing – it processes the nutrients from my food and excretes toxins, it provides me with fuel and energy every single day
My skin protects my body and glows with vitality
My body carried, protected and gave birth to my beautiful child/children – I am eternally grateful
My heart beats day in and day out, even though I am mostly unaware of this amazing organ
My legs carry me to where I need to go each and every day, I love my legs!
My eyes show me the beauty of the world around me, they allow me to watch my children grow, to see my family, animals, nature and all the textures, colours and beauty everywhere – I am so grateful for my eyes
Our bodies are just incredible, the things they do each day that we are simply not aware of and we often can’t even understand. While we are busing hating on certain parts of us, the “whole” of us is busy just being alive.
Digging Deeper Into the Why
Our thoughts are such powerful things. Thoughts are energy, and if we can begin to uncover what our deeper, hidden thought patterns and beliefs are, we can find and resolve many of the issues in our lives that we feel hold us back.
Disliking yourself, at a deeper, subconscious level, can arise from many events in our younger years. A parent that was absent or abusive, a sibling that always put you down, overhearing a conversation that you believed to be true, a partner who put you down… there are a miriad of events that occur around us and our subconscious minds subsequently form a belief about ourselves – that is often untrue. But, true or not, that belief becomes like our “operating system”. We live out our lives according to those hidden belief systems.
Because our thoughts are things, they create physical events in the body – like stress. Repetitive thoughts of self loathing triggers the body to produce a cascade of stress hormones that have strongly negative effects on your health. Weight gain and/or difficulty losing weight is a common side effect of stress.
Reframing weight loss
The words we use to describe weight loss are interesting…. Subconsciously, “loss” is something to avoid. So how can we reframe both the words we use and the meaning we attach to it?
Many people respond more positively to “letting go of weight”, or “releasing weight”. Even more powerful is to start thinking in terms of regaining vitality and health. You might also regain energy, the ability to move more easily, the enjoyment of playing more actively with your children, and adding more years to your life!
Working with someone to help uncover your hidden belief systems can unlock a powerful, positive force in your life. We are not bound by our thought patterns, they can be changed, and wonderful things start to occur in your life when you walk this path.
In my work, I’ve helped many people overcome limiting belief patterns. These people have gone on to recover from anxiety, relieve stress, regain health, and yes, lose weight. If you’re ready to break the cycle for yourself, click here and let’s chat about how I can help.