How To Get The Body You Want… (it’s not what you think)
My Story
I was a bit of a gym junkie in my late teens and 20’s. I loved everything about it: the adrenaline rush, how great it made me feel, and also the fact that I was trim and toned. What I noticed, though, was that the more trim and toned I got, there was always something else to ‘improve.’
I think a lot of young women think like this. I wish I had just appreciated myself more back then instead of obsessing over a small weight gain or focusing on something about my body that I perceived as less than ideal.
Now, I look at my body differently – the stomach that held my lovely child, my face that shows my smile lines, and the imperfections that are just part of me. Sure, I still have health goals, and I’ve re-embraced my love for weight training in recent years. But now, I focus on the amazing benefits strength training brings me – especially as I get older and recognize the importance of muscle for overall health. I love the feeling of being strong! Along the way, I’ve learned to appreciate myself just as I am, knowing that it may change, and that’s ok too.
Loving yourself whatever your weight
We all get drawn in by the media’s portrayal of the perfect body to some degree. Or perhaps we remember what our bodies looked like in the past and want to regain that youthful appearance. Over time, this can lead to “self-body shaming,” where we start seeing our own bodies as less than perfect and, in turn, start beating ourselves up about it.
Or we might develop a deep dislike for our bodies, emotionally detaching from them altogether.
The truth is, the key to either losing weight or being happy with your body is learning to love yourself, whatever your weight.
What’s Your Why?
If you want to lose weight, let’s first explore your reasons. Are you not taking care of yourself, eating poorly, and being sedentary, and now you’ve had a health scare? Or, like I was, are you in pretty good shape but constantly finding something else to improve?
Are external pressures, like a partner’s comments, family expectations, or those constant media messages, the driving force behind your desire to lose weight?
Accepting and being mindful in the present moment
This might seem counter-intuitive, but it’s crucial: accept your body as it is now as the first step toward achieving your goals. Acceptance is part of being mindful and present in the moment. If you’re always wishing for the future, dreaming of how you might look or what you might achieve, you’re missing out on the here and now. And right now is all we have.
If you can’t love your body as it is now, why do you think you will love it once it’s a few kilos lighter? The underlying belief you hold about your body will continue to find new “flaws” to fix, even after reaching your goals. You’ll quickly slip into a cycle where you achieve one goal but are always chasing the next fix.
Transforming Your Body Through Gratitude
If weight loss is your goal, set intentions. But also include daily reflections where you appreciate your body just as it is. Gratitude is an incredibly powerful force. When you start appreciating your body, as it is right now, it begins shifting the energy inside and around you. This shift will begin attracting your health goals naturally.
What can you appreciate about your body? You could create a new gratitude practice each day – verbally expressing it to yourself. Recognize all the incredible things your body does every day, beyond how it looks or what it weighs.
Here are some examples to get you started:
My digestive system processes the nutrients from my food and excretes toxins, providing me with energy every day.
My skin protects my body and glows with vitality.
My body carried, protected, and gave birth to my beautiful child – I am so grateful.
My heart beats every day, even though I’m often unaware of it.
My legs carry me through life, taking me where I need to go.
My eyes show me the beauty of the world, allowing me to see my children grow, to watch nature, and experience all the beauty around me.
Our bodies are incredible – they do things every day that we often don’t even notice. While we’re busy criticizing certain parts of ourselves, the whole of us is just being alive and amazing.
Digging Deeper Into the Why
Our thoughts have incredible power. They’re energy. If we can uncover the hidden thought patterns and beliefs about ourselves, we can resolve many of the issues we feel are holding us back.
Self-loathing, at a deeper, subconscious level, often stems from early life events – like an absent or abusive parent, a sibling who put us down, or a partner who criticized us. These events shape the beliefs we form about ourselves, whether they’re true or not. These beliefs become our operating system, guiding our behavior without us even realizing it.
Our thoughts are more than just thoughts – they create physical reactions in the body, like stress. Repetitive thoughts of self-loathing trigger the body to release stress hormones, which negatively affect your health. Weight gain, or the inability to lose weight, is often a side effect of chronic stress.
Reframing weight loss
The way we talk about weight loss is interesting. The word “loss” carries a negative connotation. How can we reframe both the words we use and the meaning we attach to weight loss?
Many people respond better to terms like “letting go of weight” or “releasing weight.” Even more powerful is thinking about it in terms of regaining vitality and health. When we reframe it like this, we also begin to see the benefits of regaining energy, the ability to move more easily, enjoying more active play with our children, and adding years to our lives.
Working with someone to uncover your hidden beliefs can unlock a powerful, positive force in your life. We are not bound by our thought patterns – they can be changed, and when we do, amazing things start happening.
What You Can Do Next
In my practice, I’ve helped many people break free from limiting beliefs. These individuals have overcome anxiety, relieved stress, regained health, and yes – lost weight. If you’re ready to break the cycle and truly transform your relationship with your body, I invite you to reach out.
If you're feeling stuck and ready for a change, don’t let another day go by. Together, we can work on shifting your mindset, breaking free from negative cycles, and helping you achieve the body and mindset you truly desire.